What Would I Say To My 20-Year-Old Self?

If you could go back and give your 20-something year-old self advice, what would it be? 

I asked myself this question recently: If I could go back and give my 20 year-old-self advice on how to make the most impact and how to develop myself as much as I could, what would it be?

Of course, nothing matters more than working on yourself and growing your awareness. But that’s not what I’m going to talk about today. 

Today I’m sharing the 3 things that you may be missing that are resulting in wasted time and effort. You can work on yourself all you want to, and it won’t matter if you skip these 3 things. 

To really drive this home today I'm going to use a football analogy.

If you want to be the highest impact player you can be, you need to do these 3 things. 

1. Team up with a player who has the potential to change the game. 
   
   If you're not with a strong player, you are not going to go as far as you can. 
   The trick is you don’t usually know who is and isn’t going to be someone who innovates in such a way that the game doesn’t stay the same.
   
   I realize there are some sports that are prescribed as a ‘weak-link sport’, like soccer, where the worst impact the team has is determined by the weakest player on the field. 
   
   There are also ‘strong link sports’, like basketball, where one superstar player is lifting the game so much. And to use the football analogy: I saw a bit of the Super Bowl and it fascinated me how Tom Brady didn’t seem to break a sweat yet had a huge impact on the team.
   
   As much as I can appreciate the strong link - weak link analogy, the more that I've spent, time observing teams and thinking about it, the more I see that it really does come down to a strong link world.
   
   And you need that strong link player to be the main leader, otherwise, you have other problems.
   
   Does it take the whole team? Yes, it takes everybody. A healthy team is going to be built around an impact player who also raises up impact players.
   
   Can everybody be that kind of leader? No. Not everybody can be a game-changing,  difference-making, high-impact player. 
   
   Do we need to give more worth to those players? No, we're all humans. We all have equal value and worth. We don't have to give them more worth. However, they do contribute more to the bottom line and therefore are typically going to have more market worth. 
   
   And this is why you see so many cultures break down into these two ditches of a competitive environment that the egotism of the superstar player starts to take over. Or, we try to build this equitable environment where we think everyone is making the same contribution.
   
   
2. Relentlessly work on being in your sweet spot.
   
   Now a really good superstar player will help you get in that sweet spot. If they're healthy and they're not driven by their ego, even if that sweet spot overlaps with theirs, they're able to let go and relinquish your sweet spot to you. 
   
   The world's going to change when there is this leader who has a crazy vision - someone who might be a little obsessive, who doesn't fit into a lot of traditional boxes - and also has a team around them where, together, they all work in their sweet spots. Team members feel seen, they feel heard, they feel validated. They're able to contribute with joy. 
   
   We actually have a tool that will get you zeroed in on this. We've used that on our team and it is amazing to see where you show up in your most brilliant self. You can't fight against this stuff.  You either cooperate with it and you embrace it or you fight against it. Cooperating with it makes you so much more fulfilled.
   
   
3. If you want to have an impact, you have to have a crazy vision. 
   
   This isn't just about providing services to businesses. That's great, do that. 
   This isn't just about being a freelancer. That's great, do that. 
   This isn't about just trying to carve out a certain level of income. That's great, do that. 
   
   There has to be a vision that, when you tell others about it, they say “that’s impossible.”
   
   You gotta be on a team of people that believe it can happen. 
   
   When I look at these 3 things, this is the joy, the beauty of a life of somebody who knows who they are and who shows up with the most impact they can possibly have. 
   
   To go back to the football analogy: There are a lot of football players who work on themselves. They grow like crazy but they are not partnered with a game-changing leader, they are not in a zeroed-in sweet spot of their role, and they don’t have a crazy vision. And it shows. 
   
   If you want to go deeper on listening to that whisper in your own life, check out polycontemplative.com. 
   
   If you want to go deeper in figuring out who you are, we’re always here. Click below to learn more about SightShift coaching.

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