Fear Of Not Belonging

If this is your fear, you are constantly looking for a place to call home. It may be the relationship where you can be fully known. Or it could be the professional role that will finally bring you into the tribe. The fear tells you that you can never be at peace until you belong. Going along to get along is a recognizable tendency from this fear. Because of that, it will encourage you to ignore information that might be disruptive or negative. It can also keep you from addressing conflict in a group because you don’t want to end up on the outside.

CIRCUS

You are going through the motions, failing to upgrade your systems or approach. Rather than being honest about reality and adjusting, you believe if you just stay persistent in the routines, something will change. But then nothing changes. The show doesn’t go on. Eventually, tumbleweeds blow through and the circus fades into irrelevance.

What you value is an important element for any successful team or organization. However, in limbo moments when you feel stress, pressure, change or uncertainty, your values will become out-of-balance, causing you to build unbalanced teams and create an unbalanced culture.

The core value of those with this fear is Cooperation. Without awareness, in times of stress you will overvalue Getting Along and undervalue Conflict.

Every leader pursuing an ambitious horizon experiences doubts. You will experience relational doubts ("Do they like me?") and you will experience mission doubts ("Am I doing a good job?"). At the root of it all is a mindset doubt.

If this is your top fear, your core doubt is "I doubt I will fit in". Here are also a few questions that may help you see and understand your doubt better.

You may resist asking uncomfortable questions, creating tension and earning the respect of others.

Conflict must be avoided at all costs. You need to avoid making waves.