Fear #
6
Fear Of Being A Bad Person
Fear Description
If this is your fear, then you feel like you are not good enough as a person. You feel defective and broken or that you deserve it when bad things happen to you because you’re a bad person. With this fear, your mistakes on the job or in relationships feel like fatal flaws. More than just getting it right, this fear can demand an unattainable standard of perfection. Because you don’t want to mess anything up, your growth into new areas is stunted by the inevitable mistake or it’s avoided altogether because you believe you’re not good enough to deserve better.
Leadership Style
Circus
You are going through the motions, failing to upgrade your systems or approach. Rather than being honest about reality and adjusting, you believe if you just stay persistent in the routines, something will change. But then nothing changes. The show doesn’t go on. Eventually, tumbleweeds blow through and the circus fades into irrelevance.
Core Value
What you value is an important element for any successful team or organization. However, in limbo moments when you feel stress, pressure, change or uncertainty, your values will become out-of-balance, causing you to build unbalanced teams and create an unbalanced culture.
The core value of those with this fear is Quality. Without awareness, in times of stress you will overvalue Order and undervalue Nuance.
You Undervalue
Nuance
Your Core Value
Quality
You Overvalue
Order
Core Doubt
Every leader pursuing an ambitious horizon experiences doubts. You will experience relational doubts ("Do they like me?") and you will experience mission doubts ("Am I doing a good job?"). At the root of it all is a mindset doubt.
If this is your top fear, your core doubt is "I doubt I can do it without compromise". Here are also a few questions that may help you see and understand your doubt better.
Hiding Question
Is my doubt keeping me stuck and unable to move?
Core Doubt
I doubt I can do it without compromise
Proving Question
Is my need to get things right driving me to perfectionism?
Non-Supportive Habits
You may undervalue yourself, discount your ideas, giveaway too much and/or overserve others.
The Limiting Beliefs
You are the weakest link. You need to avoid sabotaging this opportunity.
3 Things to Apply
1. Pursue “Why” More Than “What”
You already have an eye for the disorder. Learn to discover why the disorder exists rather than instituting a false order. You’ll never bring the fulness of goodness into the world without addressing the disorder at the root level.
2. Recognize When To Flex
The gift you bring is the standard of quality. Still, there can be moments where flexibility is called for. With an open heart, you can learn to adapt before the behavior has conformed. Like a supple branch bending with the winds of change, recognize when to flex.
3. Look To The Edges
Innovation and creative breakthroughs happen at the edges of what is known and defined. Your ability to categorize is a strength to build around, but wisdom emerges when you recognize not everything fits in a neat category. Be like a tree branching into unexplored areas.
3 Things to Avoid
1. Don’t Pursue Order For Order’s Sake
The energy you experience when you see the disorder isn’t so you can make everyone and everything conform. The energy is given to notice so you won’t be blind to what’s really going on. Like the rustling leaves on a tree, recognize the signal as a call to keen observation.
2. Don’t Miss The Real Enemy
The real enemy is not the disorder, it is your rigidity. Your impact as a leader is hindered most by your unwillingness to shift forms when needed. It’s like a tree trunk swaying in the wind, ensuring strength through flexibility rather than rigid resistance.
3. Don’t Be Reductionistic
Don’t devalue or ignore what can’t be explained or neatly categorized. The anxious energy you feel when categories break becomes harmful to you and others when you try to force compliance. Remember, trees don’t shrink their branches when growing.
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