Fear #
9
Fear Of Being Replaceable
Fear Description
Persons experiencing this fear believe they are neither unique nor special. They are just like everyone else and could be easily replaced on the job or in a relationship. Because of this, a person might become hyper-regimented or disciplined in order to stand out from others who are less so. Or a person might forego growth and remain small, believing it will help them avoid being replaced for being too unique. The net result is that a person's natural uniqueness is coopted by this fear and presented either in exaggerated caricature form or concealed altogether.
Leadership Style
Hot Air Balloon
The hot air balloon gets inflated with enthusiasm, hyped up on new ideas, and chases the next adventure, but isn’t centered or anchored to any fundamentals. When the winds of change start swirling, it comes crashing down. Rather than building through a transformation gradually, the hot air balloon focuses on the next burst, which ultimately leads to a bust that brings it down.
Core Value
What you value is an important element for any successful team or organization. However, in limbo moments when you feel stress, pressure, change or uncertainty, your values will become out-of-balance, causing you to build unbalanced teams and create an unbalanced culture.
The core value of those with this fear is Authenticity. Without awareness, in times of stress you will overvalue Freedom and undervalue Consistency.
You Undervalue
Consistency
Your Core Value
Authenticity
You Overvalue
Freedom
Core Doubt
Every leader pursuing an ambitious horizon experiences doubts. You will experience relational doubts ("Do they like me?") and you will experience mission doubts ("Am I doing a good job?"). At the root of it all is a mindset doubt.
If this is your top fear, your core doubt is "I doubt I matter". Here are also a few questions that may help you see and understand your doubt better.
Hiding Question
Is my doubt keeping me from fully showing up?
Core Doubt
I doubt I matter
Proving Question
Is my desire to show uniqueness overshadowing my authenticity?
Non-Supportive Habits
You can become an exaggerated caricature of yourself to build and maintain meaningful relationships.
The Limiting Beliefs
You are not special or unique. You need to do more to stand out.
3 Things to Apply
1. Focus On The Endgame
Your authenticity isn’t just to be known, it’s so others have something to connect to. Your uniqueness will shine through when you show up ready to serve with a desire to impact others as they experience your leadership. Be like the tree standing tall not just to be seen, but to offer shade and shelter to others.
2. Discover The Vision Where You Are Bothered
You already know how to see clearly what could be and should be. Learn to see that perfection is never a destination. Rather, it’s pursuit and the things that bother you are indications of your potential for impact. Like the tree’s reaching for the sunlight, it never ends, just evolves.
3. Separate The Fundamental And The Experimental
Experimenting is a strength of yours. But it becomes a weakness when you resent or reject the commitment required to make it come to be. Build rhythms for the fundamental as well as space to experiment. You can both strengthen your trunk and pursue new branches when you nurture both.
3 Things to Avoid
1. Don’t Confuse Yourself With Those You Lead
The point of the team or the organization isn’t to express your fullness. You are so much more. Rather than placing that pressure on others, realize the point of your mission is to deepen roots where you’re planted and to build a healthy forest community around you.
2. Don’t Wilt With The Problems
That would be like a tree dropping its leaves with each storm. There will always be a problem to solve. You get to choose your response. If you lose heart with every problem, you’re conditioning a melancholy response that will leave you going inward for pity rather than outward for impact.
3. Don’t Play To Keep Your Options Open
Don’t avoid making commitments. Instead, make little commitments everywhere you can. When those commitments don’t feel authentic you can always make changes. But your dreams won’t come true waiting for someone to pick you. Pick a lane and pick others to join you. A tree rooted in indecision will never grow to its full height.
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